Help Your Child Navigate Grief Without Losing Yourself in the Process

March 24, 2025

Losing someone you love is devastating—but guiding your child through that same loss while carrying your own heartbreak? That can feel unbearable. I know this because I’ve lived it. After losing my son, Drew, I had to figure out how to keep moving forward while supporting those around me, especially his younger brother.

You want to be strong for them, to hold their pain so they don’t have to—but healing from pain doesn’t work that way. Your child’s grief is theirs to carry, just as your grief is yours. The best thing you can do is walk beside them, offering love and support while making space for your emotions.

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The Weight of Grief and the Role You Play in Their Healing

As a parent, it’s natural to want to shield your child from pain. You might feel the urge to take on their sadness, to make it easier for them. But healing from pain doesn’t work that way.

Your child’s grief is uniquely theirs—just as your grief is yours. The best thing you can do is walk beside them, offering support while also allowing space for your own emotions.

Why You Don’t Have to Carry Their Grief for Them

Grief looks different for everyone, and that includes children. They may not always express their feelings the way you do, but that doesn’t mean they’re not processing their emotions.

By recognizing that you don’t have to “fix” their grief, you give them the freedom to grieve in a way that feels natural to them. Trauma healing coaching often emphasizes this balance—guiding without controlling, supporting without absorbing.

Give Your Child Space to Process Their Own Emotions

Instead of rushing to make things “better,” try simply being there. Sit with them in their sadness. Allow them to ask questions. Let them express their emotions without needing to correct or redirect them.

Your presence alone is one of the most powerful gifts you can give during this time.

How to Create a Safe Space for Expression

Children need to feel safe expressing their grief, whether through words, creativity, or quiet reflection. Encouraging open conversations and finding meaningful ways to honor their loved one can help them navigate loss in a way that fosters healing from pain rather than suppressing it.

Encourage Conversations About Their Loved One

Talk about the person they lost. Share memories, encourage storytelling, and let them know it’s okay to keep their loved one present in their heart. Sometimes, just saying their name out loud brings comfort.

Identify Comforting Rituals to Honor Their Memory

Finding small, intentional ways to remember a loved one can offer a sense of connection and peace.

Creating a memory box with photos, letters, or small keepsakes
Planting a tree or flowers in their honor
Celebrating their birthday with a meaningful tradition
Writing letters to express feelings that are hard to say out loud
Visiting special places where they loved to share memories together

Remember, Your Healing Matters Too

How to heal from deep emotional pain isn’t about choosing between your healing and theirs—it’s about walking this path together, each in your own way. You are not just a parent in this journey but a person who is grieving, too. So, allow yourself the same grace and patience you offer your child.

If you need a supportive space to share your experience, join my private Facebook group. It’s a place for connection, encouragement, and trauma-healing coaching as we navigate grief together. You don’t have to do this alone.