Discovery Your Agency
You’ll learn how to reframe your relationship with pain and healing,
and you’ll discover your agency—your ability to choose to heal.
Chapter 1: Hope
Affirmation Practice: Speaking Life Into Possibility
In the early days of healing, hope can feel like a whisper—distant, fragile, barely there. But speaking that whisper aloud, again and again, can become a lifeline. This affirmation practice isn’t about pretending to be okay. It’s about choosing to believe that one day, you will be.
Use this guided practice to begin shifting your thoughts gently toward healing. You don’t need to believe the words fully yet. Let repetition help carry the belief until it settles in.
Step 1: Begin with “One Day”
Start with what you hope could be true, even if it feels far away.
Speak these aloud or write them down:
One day, I will be okay again.
One day, this pain will hurt less.
One day, happiness will be possible again.
One day, I will feel joy again.
One day, I will feel like myself again.
Repeat each phrase slowly. Let the words linger.
Step 2: Let Conviction Grow
As you feel ready, shift your language from "one day" to "I will". Let your voice reflect the possibility that healing is unfolding even now.
I will be okay again.
The pain will lessen.
I will find happiness.
I will feel joy again.
I will feel like myself again.
Breathe deeply. Feel each statement as a seed being planted.
Step 3: Flip the Fear
Now, speak directly to your deepest fears. Turn them on their head. Let affirmation be your quiet rebellion against despair.
Even when I don’t feel like enough, I am enough just as I am.
Even if I can’t see the light, I trust it is coming.
Even in my brokenness, I am worthy of love.
Even in grief, joy still belongs to me.
Step 4: Make It Personal
Use this prompt to write your own affirmations:
What do you hope is possible for your healing journey?
Write 2–3 affirmations that speak directly to that hope.
Example:
I hope to feel peace in my body again. → “Peace is returning to me, slowly and surely.”
I hope to trust life again. → “I am learning to trust life again, moment by moment.”
Affirmations are not magic spells—they are invitations. Invitations to believe in your becoming. To speak life even when you feel surrounded by shadows. Keep speaking. Keep hoping. Keep choosing life, one whispered word at a time.
Chapter 2: Comfort
The 15-Minute Timer Method
A Gentle Way to Move Through the Hard Stuff
When you're grieving, overwhelmed, or simply not sure how to start, time can feel both too fast and too slow. The 15-Minute Timer Method is a gentle practice to help you take small, doable steps without pressure.
This method isn’t about productivity—it’s about permission. Permission to begin, even when it’s hard.
How to Use the 15-Minute Timer Method
Pick one small task or focus.
Choose something simple. You can clean, journal, cry, write, pray, answer an email—anything that’s been weighing on you.Set a timer for 15 minutes.
Use your phone, a kitchen timer, or an app. Tell yourself: “I only need to do this for 15 minutes.”Start—gently.
Begin without pressure. You’re not aiming for perfection. You’re just showing up.When the timer goes off, stop.
Take a breath. Check in with yourself. Do you want to stop? Beautiful. Do you want to keep going for another 15? That’s okay too.
Examples of 15-Minute Sessions
Emotional Care:
Sit quietly and breathe.
Write down what you’re feeling.
Pray, meditate, or read a psalm.
Mental Space:
Make a to-do list.
Respond to one email or message.
Sort a small stack of papers.
Physical Movement:
Stretch.
Walk around the block.
Tidy one corner of a room.
Creative Healing:
Journal.
Doodle or paint.
Write a letter to your future self.
Chapter 3: Preparation
Trigger Journal: A Tool for Gentle Awareness
Grief can feel like landmines hidden in everyday life—unexpected, destabilizing, and deeply painful. One of the most helpful things you can do is begin to notice what stirs you up and what settles you down. A Trigger Journal helps you track both your triggers and your tools for healing.
This is not about fixing yourself.
It’s about learning yourself—with kindness.
Why Keep a Trigger Journal?
To understand what disrupts your emotional balance
To identify people, places, and activities that feel grounding
To prepare for emotional moments before they spiral
To discover what actually helps (vs. what you think should help)
How to Start Your Trigger Journal
You don’t need a fancy setup. A notebook, notes app, or even sticky notes will do. The goal is simply to record what you notice—no judgment, no pressure to analyze.
-
1. My Safe List (comforts, stabilizers, grounding tools)
Think: What brings me calm? When do I feel most like myself?Examples:
Sitting in the sun
Writing in my journal
Talking with someone who listens well
Listening to worship music
Standing in my garden
2. My Trigger List (destabilizers, painful reminders, emotional landmines)
Think: What tends to knock me off balance, emotionally or physically?Examples:
Certain places (e.g., an old school, hospital, store)
Dates or times of da
Certain conversations or smells
Social media memories
-
Use quick journal entries like these:
“Today, I broke down after hearing a song that reminded me of ___. Didn’t expect that.”
“Ran into someone who didn’t know what happened. It wrecked me.”
“Watched the hummingbirds today—felt peace for the first time in days.”
You’re not looking for patterns right away. Just record. Over time, clarity will emerge.
-
Once a week (or whenever you feel ready), ask yourself:
What moments brought me peace this week?
What things unsettled me—and why might that be?
What helped bring me back to center after I was triggered?
What didn’t help at all, even though I hoped it would?
This isn’t about fixing. It’s about knowing. The better you know your emotional terrain, the more gently you can move through it.
-
Start preparing ahead of time for days or events you know may be hard.
Example:
Upcoming Trigger: A birthday/anniversary
Preloaded Tools: Cancel plans. Journal. Light a candle. Take a walk. Be with one safe person.
Chapter 4: Progress
Internal Check-Ins: A Gentle Practice for Noticing Your Progress
Healing often happens quietly. In the background. Without fanfare. But that doesn’t mean it isn’t happening.
An Internal Check-In is a simple, intentional way to pause and notice how far you've come—even when it feels like you haven’t moved at all. It invites you to reflect, reconnect, and realign.
Why Practice Internal Check-Ins?
To notice growth that’s easy to overlook
To reconnect with your body, mind, and heart
To offer yourself compassion and care
To mark your healing—not just your hurting
Your growth may not always be loud—but it is real.
Give yourself the gift of noticing. Again and again.
Chapter 5: Acceptance
Journaling for Healing: A Compassionate Guide
Journaling isn’t just about recording your life—it’s about processing it.
For those walking through grief, trauma, or emotional overwhelm, journaling can be a powerful tool for healing. It helps you make sense of chaos, express what feels unspeakable, and gently reframe your story at your own pace.
Your Journal, Your Way
There’s no right way to journal. If a blank page feels intimidating, give yourself permission to play. Let your journal be a space of exploration, not perfection.
Try any of the following:
Daily pages – Write anything and everything, stream-of-consciousness style.
Letters to someone (or no one) – Write to a lost loved one, your younger self, or even an empty mailbox.
Lists – What you’re grateful for, what hurts, what you miss, what you’ve survived.
Poetry + songwriting – If prose feels stiff, sing or shape your sorrow into rhythm.
Fictional worlds – Write your way into a world that feels safer.
Dialogues – Speak with your grief, your joy, your fear, your healing self.
Prompts to Get You Started
If you're feeling stuck, begin here:
“Right now, I feel…”
“The thing I’m avoiding writing about is…”
“What I wish I could say out loud is…”
“Today I want to remember…”
“This memory keeps coming back…”
“One thing I know for sure, even in the middle of this, is…”
Let your story unfold in ink. You deserve to be heard—even if the only one listening is you.
Chapter 6: Agency - Recap
Healing Resources Recap: What Helped Me
Each of these practices is designed to gently support you through grief, trauma, or any emotionally heavy season. They’re not quick fixes, but tender tools—meant to help you reconnect with yourself, notice your progress, and move forward with intention.
Healing isn’t linear. Some days will feel heavy, others full of light. These practices aren’t about fixing you—they’re about meeting yourself with truth and grace.
Take what works. Leave what doesn’t. And know this: you are already healing by being here.