Life is so much easier when you can stop taking things personally. Here’s why I decide to let go of others’ words and actions.
By far one of my greatest strengths is: I don’t take a lot personally anymore.
I don’t hold onto things emotionally. I don’t dwell on the things I can’t control.
Instead, I continue to move forward and focus on my own day.
And you know what?
That simple decision has contributed so much to my inner peace and happiness.
So today I’m sharing why I intentionally choose not to take things personally – and how you can, too.
Why I Don’t Take Things Personally
When something happens that hurts you or rubs you the wrong way, you can either be offended … or you can choose not to take it personally.
It’s a tough choice, and it’s not always an easy one to put into practice.
But in my experience, it can make all the difference.
That’s why I try really hard to not take someone else’s day-to-day choices personally in my own day.
And you can, too.
1. It’s Not About You
Why should you choose not to take things personally? If someone wrongs you, the difficult truth is they’re probably not even thinking about you in the first place.
It’s not about you. It’s about them.
After all, it’s their work to do anyway.
If I show up with integrity, but you don’t, well I thank you for that information – and I choose to move on.
You see, I’m in this phase in my life where I’m seeing the growth in my own life. I’m not ignoring that fact that sometimes things hurt, but I am celebrating the fact that it doesn’t hurt for very long.
And that’s the point.
Yes, stuff will always come up. Yes, you’ll be disappointed by others. But not taking things personally has been the fastest way to get from oh this sucks to I wish it had been different – but thank you, I’m moving on.
It’s easy to get stuck in overcomplicating things. Getting entrenched in the endless questions with no good answers.
But if you just step back and realize another person’s actions aren’t about you, you can see what there is to be learned in that moment instead.
A moment of hurt can be transformed into an opportunity of growth.
2. It’s Not Worth Your Energy
Here’s the thing. I’m never one to shy away from a tough conversation, as long as it’s productive and healthy. I’m not afraid to talk about tough things or work my way through a new understanding, in order to strengthen a relationship.
But if the other person doesn’t have healthy intentions, then they’re not worth my energy.
Wondering if your relationship is worth investing in? Start by looking at the dynamics. If the other person isn’t respecting your boundaries and adding to your life in a positive way, then why are you spending your time worrying about it?
Does it take a moment to come to that realization? Sometimes.
Will it be sad to let go of the relationship? Maybe.
But I’m not going to take it so personally that I get caught up in it. I’m not going to sit and dwell on assumptions.
My time is better spent focusing on the things and relationships that bring me happiness and joy.
3. It’s Time To Move On
When those tough moments show up in my life, when relationships show their true colors, you have a choice.
You can take it personally and allow it to keep you stuck; or you can see it as an opportunity to grow and move forward a little more prepared for next time.
You could lose days or months or years over the things that happened to you. Or you can say …
Thanks for the lesson. I’m moving on. I won’t get caught up in it all.
Instead, I choose to let it go – because it was never mine to carry in the first place.
And you know what? By letting it go, you’re finally free to move forward.
Ready To Take Action?
I’ve been working on this practice for over 20 years, and I’ve learned quite a few tools, techniques and mindsets along the way.
I share all my best strategies for navigating life’s toughest moments inside of my membership community. You can even find a video course on this exact topic that includes everything you need for self-discovery and empowered action.
All you have to do is show up for the journey.