The Secret To Letting Go Of What Does Not Serve You
As we move into a new decade, much of our collective focus is on goals, achievement and action: What do we want to add to our lives in 2020?
But stop and think about that for a second:
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- How busy are you already?
- How full is your calendar today?
- How close to overwhelm are you right now?
Our energy is a balance. Before you expand what you want to achieve in the next decade, it’s important to first clear out what you want to release from the 2010s.
What I know for sure is the things we leave behind allow us to bring in so much more — more than anything we ever thought was possible. And that’s what I want for you in 2020.
Want more from the next decade? Let’s clear some room.
The Secret To Letting Go Of What Does Not Serve You
If you’ve ever taken a yoga class, listened to a guided meditation or read a wellness book, you’ve probably heard this phrase before: Let go of what does not serve you.
But what does that actually mean, and how do you do it?
Well, part of the problem is we were never taught how to let go of something, and it will look different for everyone.
But for me, letting go is all about forgiveness. You can’t really let go of something until you’ve forgiven it.
Let’s say you’ve realized that your obsession with social media isn’t serving you. Every time you start scrolling, you’re comparing yourself to all the friends, celebrities and influencers you follow, and it makes you feel terrible.
So you resolve to limit your social media time to 15 minutes daily, or you decide to take a hiatus. Except, whenever you find yourself in a weak moment, you’re back on social media — soaking up the glow from other people’s lives and using it to shadow your own.
Maybe you even stick to your social media diet, but you still notice that feeling creeping into your life … when you go to networking events or holiday parties, for example.
The root of the problem isn’t social media, though that habit may exacerbate the problem. The real problem is you haven’t forgiven yourself for not being where you want to be.
If you’re noticing an emotion, habit, relationship or thought pattern that doesn’t serve you, don’t just treat the symptoms. Figure out what needs to be forgiven, so you can release that problem from the root.
That’s how you say bye to that which does not serve you — and truly create new space and expansion to call in something greater.
How I Learned To Let Go Of What Wasn’t Serving Me
There was a time when I was really struggling. I was in a constant space of hurt and anger. I was reactive instead of responsive, and I was losing my mind over stupid stuff way too often.
I was holding onto so much hurt, and I refused to let myself heal because I didn’t want to give others the satisfaction of my forgiveness.
Yet all I was doing was tying myself to a misery that had nothing to do with them and everything to do with me. I was scared of what would happen if I actually forgave myself.
When I finally realized how deeply I needed self-forgiveness, I made a decision and consciously chose it. And I had to keep choosing it with every thought pattern, journal entry and daily instinct to “just keep pushing.” But you know what?
It was so incredibly powerful.
In fact, forgiveness was the most powerful gift I’ve ever given myself. The more I practiced it, the more it unleashed this force of inner creativity, inspiration and power.
By choosing forgiveness, nurturing it within me, and taking actions that supported my choice, I had released a lifetime of hurt. In its place came a transformation of inner power.
I had stepped into the best version of myself by first forgiving what I was not.
When you’re no longer being hurt by the things that happened to you in the past, it unleashes an unstoppable force within you. You can’t help but get caught up in that momentum.
So this year, let’s forgive ourselves into the next of greatness.
How To Let Go Of What Does Not Serve You
In order to manifest the biggest, most impactful decade of your life, you’ll want to get really clear about what you need to forgive — like a clarity roadmap for the year ahead.
It’s time to dig deep. If I’ve learned anything on my own personal journey, clarity requires a lot of introspection and hard questions. So that’s why I’m challenging you to ask yourself the following three questions before you walk into the next decade.
1. What do I need to forgive myself for?
There might be a lot of bullets on this list — and that’s ok. Try not judge yourself through this process.
Write down every negative thought patterns, emotions, relationships, mistakes and perceived weaknesses. What stories need to be put to bed? What limiting beliefs are holding you back from your highest good and calling? What no longer serves you?
The idea is to let it go, from your heart to the pen, and your pen to the page. Let the page carry that load from now on. Let it hold space for all the blame and hurt you once thought was your burden.
And love yourself enough to forgive yourself.
2. What do I need to forgive others for?
Again, practice honesty and refrain from judging with this one.
Write a list of others’ actions, words or emotions that may have caused you harm. Who are you harboring ill will toward and holding grudges against? Who has burned bridges with you? Which old relationships still haunt you?
While the first step is awareness, you’ll likely need to find a new way to look at each hurtful interaction, so you can find a sense of compassion and, eventually, forgiveness. Try reframing the situation, or think about what it would be like to walk that person’s journey.
And love them enough to forgive them.
3. What would that open up space for?
Now I want you to look through those lists and consider how you would feel if you were no longer putting energy into those things.
How much do you think those lists weigh, either energetically or on your time? How much time and energy would be opened up if you let them go? How could you use all that space?
List all the things you could feel, do or accomplish if you let go of what doesn’t serve you — not just next year but in the next decade.
Now you have the space for it.
When we love ourselves enough to choose to no longer be affected by our own humanness and the humanness of others, we choose to heal — and we choose to become unstoppable in our ability to move forward. It’s a choice, one I wish I had taken less time to arrive at.
So love yourself enough to let go of what has hurt you. Embrace the possibilities of what’s to come with a sense of exuberance and excitement.
Let go of 2019, and be unstoppable in 2020.
Because today, that’s all that matters.
Share With Us!
How do you let go of what does not serve you? Is forgiveness a major part of your practice?
Share with us! We would love to know!
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