Ready to learn how to make empowered choices – even in hardship?
Are you stuck in a cycle of disempowered choices?
Shed disempowering narratives and assign empowered meaning to your toughest life experiences.
Here’s how you can rewrite your narrative by making empowered choices – even amidst hardship or struggle.
Before I discovered a different way, my disempowered choices were typically the result of those moments that bring you to your knees.
You know the moment. When you find yourself asking: Why do bad things always happen to me? Why is life so hard for me? Why can’t I catch a break like everyone else?
It seemed like every hardship, every challenge, every tragedy, was another piece of evidence that life was hard – but only for me. It was as though I had no choice, no say, and no hope of having the life I truly wanted.
So I’d given up on the idea that I could get through it. I just sat back and said to the world: What’s next? I waited for the next shoe to drop.
For me, this was the most disempowered state I’ve ever been in.
I thought life was happening to me – in the cruelest ways.
In reality, it was just this unhealthy and untrue dialogue running in my mind that made me feel like a victim of my circumstances. My disempowering thoughts were attracting more disempowering thoughts, beliefs and circumstances.
It wasn’t until I shifted to an empowering mindset that I began to understand the truth: My thoughts, attitudes and choices were all within my control.
Today, here’s the thing I know to be true: We are not held hostage by our thoughts and feelings. In fact, we actually have the ability to choose which thoughts and feelings we focus on. That’s the difference between disempowered and empowered thinking.
Now, I’m not saying there won’t be times when life is disappointing, painful or unjust. And I’m not saying we have to feel good about those things when they happen.
I am saying, however, empowered choices can help you find the good and the growth, even in the hardest of life circumstances.
Let’s take a deeper look at how that’s possible. Here are three basic steps to empowered living:
1. Empowered Thoughts
The very first step in living an empowered life is to choose the quality of your thoughts. If you can focus on empowered thoughts, while letting the disempowered thoughts pass, then you’re well on your way to creating the life you desire.
Now, this sounds simple – but if you’ve tried it before, then you know it can be deceivingly difficult at first, especially in the midst of hardship.
Here’s the secret: It’s a disciplined daily practice, not a one-time choice. For most people, it takes years to master.
When you do begin to build this muscle, however, it gives you the ability to choose the meaning you assign to your experiences – as well as the impact they have within us.
That is the power of commanding the mind.
2. Empowered Feelings
Once you understand how to choose your thoughts, you begin to have more conscious control over your feelings, too. Why? Our thoughts trigger our emotions. That means that, if we choose empowered thoughts, we can begin to choose empowered emotions, too.
You see, no one would choose to feel pain or suffering. But the problem is: We’ve forgotten that we have the power to choose differently. So our thoughts, feelings and mindset tell us that is our only choice.
By disrupting this subconscious process at the thought level, we can begin to see that we have a choice with our emotions, too.
We can’t always choose how we feel. But we can choose which feelings we allow to take front seat in our minds, hearts and souls. You can choose not to let a disempowered emotion take hold of you. You can choose to focus on an empowered feeling.
It may not be easy. And it may not happen overnight. But it will give you the strength to choose empowerment over disempowerment – whatever that looks like for you.
You are more than your circumstance. You have the power to choose what your circumstance means to you.
3. Empowered Actions
If our thoughts trigger our emotions, then our emotions influence the actions we engage in.
When our mind is clear and our hearts are in alignment, we have the energy and inner resources we need to take the right actions.
When our thoughts and emotions are in a negative or disempowered place, it becomes incredibly difficult to take the next right action.
That’s why it’s so critical to take the time to get your thoughts and emotions in alignment first. At that point, all your hard work begins to show up as positive results in your life.
That could mean starting a conversation, instilling a new habit, committing to a daily healing practice, or joining a new community of people who are on the same path as you.
When you’re taking actions that align with the outcomes you want to see, your life will transform.
How To Make Empowered Choices
So how do you initiate and commit to the cycle of empowered thoughts, feelings and actions? Only you have the innate wisdom and intuition to know the answer. But here are a few things that worked for me.
Understand Your Narrative
There are certain life circumstances that are out of our control. But the meaning we assign to our circumstances is completely within our control.
We assign meaning through our inner narratives. Sometimes we may be conscious of the narrative we’re telling ourselves, and other times it operates on more of a subconscious level. So, first, you need to examine the narrative you’re subscribing to. What are you telling yourself about this situation? What do you believe is possible? What have you already decided is not possible?
Once you have a clear understanding of the narrative you’re telling yourself already, you can begin to unpack that – and eventually choose something different.
If you accept that your inner narratives are a choice, then you have the power to decide what they mean.
Ask Empowering Questions
Throughout my entire journey, asking the right question has always helped me unlock the next level. The right question can pull back new layers and reveal more of my true self to myself.
Are you willing to ask the types of questions that will give you options – instead of keeping you stuck in the same, cyclical inner discussions?
The key is moving your focus from questions that have no good answers (i.e. Why did this happen to me?) to questions that will reveal the answers you’ve been running from.
Here are a few examples:
- What am I feeling and why?
- Is this thought/feeling even true?
- Where is this thought/feeling coming from?
- What do I not know that I need to know?
- What can I do to support myself?
- What actions can I take to create different outcomes?
- Where am I disappointing myself?
- Where are my boundaries being crossed?
- Where are my actions not aligning with my desired outcomes?
Engage In Empowered Communication
Once you know what you believe in and how it makes you feel, the next step often requires some honest and empowered communication. The question becomes: How do I empower my voice to speak with authority – but without offense?
Empowered communication means you’re speaking from a place of clarity and confidence in order to reach a resolution or result. It’s not blaming. It’s not venting. And it doesn’t aim to hurt another.
Empowered communication is productive.
You’ll know when you’re engaging in empowered communication because it will come from a place of thoughtful response instead of emotionally charged reaction. You will feel like you’re having an impact on and a dialogue with life, instead of always being the recipient.
Empowered communication allows you to be an active participant in life.
The Bottom Line
Empowered choices allow you to affect the outcomes you desire in life, so you can be the author of what life means to you.
They make the difference between life happening to you – or you happening to life.
By harnessing the ability to make empowered choices, you’re giving yourself a gift. Even when life hands you difficult circumstances, you’ll be able to quickly reimagine, dedesign and re-engage what a happy future looks like.
This is a formula by which you can always find the learning you need to grow. It allows you to stay in this beautiful space of constant creation.
You become the artist of your world.
You’re the one writing what the day means on the blank page.
You decide if good things or bad things result from your circumstances.
You choose the meaning of your experiences.
Share With Us!
How do you shift from a place of disempowerment to empowerment?
Share with us! We would love to know!
Your story is so important.
The A.R.T. of Healing is a membership, resource and community for mothers who are moving through the pain of loss. Conversations and materials will focus on the three main shifts that occur once you’ve reached the point of acceptance.
When you have accepted that your reality is now different, and you’re ready to find hope and happiness again, then this membership will provide a creative framework for your healing journey – as well as the community to support you along the way.
It includes activities, journal prompts, meditations, rituals, affirmations, a 7-part video series of healing principles and exercises and more – all to support you as you transform from a life of loss to feeling spiritually whole and emotionally free.
Learn more here: melissahull.com/membership.