Ready to unlock your full potential?
Here’s my secret for moving from doubt to empowerment.
After I lost my son in an accidental drowning, I wanted to help prevent the same thing from happening to another family, and one of the best ways I could do that was by sharing my story. The only problem was … I was nervous about stepping on that stage and getting vulnerable with a room full of strangers. Even though I knew the good it could do, I was terrified of being judged, saying the wrong thing, or saying nothing at all. That critical voice in the back of my
mind just wouldn’t let up:
- What if I went blank?
- What if I sound stupid?
- I mean, who do I think I am?
But I was determined to try – so that’s what I did.
I started trying things instead of just talking about it or dreaming about it or planning it out. I took action in the direction of my fears. And I realized that confidence didn’t come from thinking through it or hyping myself up. It came from trying to do the very thing I wanted to feel confident about.
Yes, it had been a goal of mine to share my story from the stage, but I didn’t walk on that stage and instantly feel like a powerhouse. The more I did it, however, the more I was able to stop thinking about it as a testament of “I’m confident or I’m not confident.” It was just me sharing a part of my journey – and that I could do confidently.
Where Confidence Comes From
Confidence is the bridge between doubt and empowerment, and it’s a bridge you have to build with small actions every day. It comes through the continued choice to show up and try the things we’re initially unfamiliar with but ultimately become comfortable with.
The more I trusted myself to take the stage, the more confident I felt about the next speaking opportunity. I didn’t just freeze. I didn’t choke on my words. None of those fears actually happened. Instead, I was learning how to communicate my ideas and my hopes for others to embrace this healing journey, too. If I wanted to cultivate that future, I would have to embrace all those vulnerabilities and choose confidence anyway.
The #1 Thing That Gets In The Way
Once I realized the only thing that would help me build confidence was the act of trying, naturally my next thought was: What if I fail?
Our fear of failure is the #1 thing that stops us from trying something new and eventually building the confidence we need to succeed. That’s why it’s so important to change your perspective on failure – rather than trying to avoid it completely.
After all, failure isn’t an end point; it’s a growth point. The process of failing and trying again is what builds confidence over time, and sometimes, you have to fail forward in order to move forward. Once you can accept that you will make mistakes, and that’s a natural part of the process, then you begin to trust yourself … and gain true confidence that can never be taken away.
Defining True Confidence
The more I started facing my fears, the more it strengthened my resolve to step into myself – wholly and completely. Once I’d tapped into this newfound sense of confidence, I also started letting go of the need for validation. That’s when I discovered true confidence. When your confidence comes from hard-fought wins, bold risks toward your desires, and years of putting trust in yourself and your abilities, your confidence becomes something no one can take from you. You don’t rely on praise from external sources. Whether you knock it out of the park or have to start over completely, it’s ok. Because you believe in you. And even if you fail, you’re capable of making the adjustment, of learning and growing through it all. That’s how my confidence became completely untouchable – in the truest way.
Bringing Confidence to the Stage
Today I am actually very comfortable on stage. Are there moments when I’m not as self- assured? Absolutely. But what I do in those moments is simply be honest. I’ll just tell the audience: “I’m speaking from my own perspective. I’m not here to convince you that I have all the answers. This is true for me, but something else might be true for you.” If you speak and act from a true sense of confidence, you’ll be able to handle even uncertainty with grace.
Now if someone asked me to speak on negative derivatives, let’s be honest – I would be a hot mess. I’m absolutely not your girl for that. But if I wanted to speak on something close to my heart, then I would take small actions toward my goal to slowly build confidence and trust over time.
Because it all comes from trying – and believing in yourself along the way.