Discover Your Deeper Story, deeper story, find your deeper story, discover self-awareness, self-awareness, develop self-awareness, how to develop self-awareness, deep self-awareness, Melissa Hull, iconic woman series

Stuck in disempowering patterns, beliefs and relationships? It’s all about becoming aware of your deeper story. 

Oftentimes, our deeper stories are discovered by becoming aware of our inconsistencies, our limiting beliefs, our self-sabotaging and our judgmental behaviors. 

They’re found in the contradictions between what we say we want – and what we’re actually doing

They’re in our attitude and our values. They’re also in our fears

Sometimes we want something so badly, yet we feel absolutely powerless in our ability to actually create it. So we end up feeling sad, despondent, frustrated, agitated, or downright angry. 

We can’t get past the deeper story standing in our way. 

So what can you do?

Your Compass: Deep Self-Awareness 

You know when you keep recreating a certain outcome – a type of relationship or negative situation – and you have this sense that you’re just missing something? There’s a moment of clarity you can feel, but you just can’t define yet. 

That’s the deeper story, and that’s where the transformation hides. 

So how do you get to the root of the deeper story? 

Begin by looking at that bowl full of fish hooks that lives in your heart. Each painful one is rooted in a past trauma or hurtful experience – it could be from years ago. 

In fact, the behaviors and patterns that are showing up in your life today may be pulling at a fish hook in the bottom of the bowl. You can’t just reach in and grab it on the first try, because that would be too painful. 

And this work can be painful. But that does not mean you should stop trying to untangle the next fish hook, and the next fish hook, until you get to the bottom of the bowl. 

We have to look backward to move forward. And that’s ok. 

Your Map: High-Yielding Questions

Sometimes all it takes is slowing down, so you can finally let your emotions speak to you in a way that you can learn from – instead of getting wrapped up in them. 

Ask yourself: What is this emotion or trigger trying to teach me? What can I learn about myself that will help me resolve this? Who do I need to forgive in order to release this? How can I connect to my heart and show compassion to myself and others – even those who I feel wronged me? 

As the deeper story is revealed to you, allow your emotions to be released. Let the tears flow. Don’t brush it off or distract or numb yourself. Really and truly give yourself the time and grace to process whatever you learn. 

Your Tools: Finding The Deeper Story

Whenever you do deep work, it’s important to take care of yourself in the process. Create intentional moments of self-care to rest and recover. But more importantly, be gentle with yourself and show yourself kindness. 

Here are three things that will support you along the way.

1. Safe Reflection Space

Create a safe space for reflection and time to connect with yourself. 

Dedicate time to some form of expression, whether that’s through a creative outlet, physical activity, musical talent or anything that allows you to tap in and let go

My preferred way is through journaling. I like to write out what I think triggered the emotion. That’s when I’ll realize it was never about that person who took my parking spot; it was about feeling like I’ve been treated unfairly in my relationships. More importantly, I realize it was connected to something that happened weeks, months ago or even years ago. 

By creating a safe, dedicated space for expression, I can reflect freely.

2. Courageous Clarity 

Finding your deeper story is also about being brave enough to look into those blind spots. 

You have to be clear about where you are. Stop hiding beneath the mask. Ask yourself why you’re choosing to keep this story hidden from others – and maybe even yourself. 

Then be daring enough to ask yourself the hard questions. 

What is it that you don’t know, but you need to know? 

How can you use this clarity to become the person who can move forward in creating the life you truly desire? 

3. Abundant Self-Compassion 

Lead yourself through this process in a way that lets you love yourself more than you did yesterday. 

Be mindful of your patterns, expressions, tones, energies, things you avoid, ways you numb, points of excess, etc. Observe without judgement. 

Then, as soon as you notice them, forgive yourself for whatever it is you think you haven’t gotten right. And let them go

Ready To Take Action? 

This kind of work is always easier and more profound when you have the right support system to share it with. Sometimes, we need someone else to simply see us on this journey.

In the Iconic Woman Series, you have the guidance of a mentor, as well as a community of other women walking the same path of self-discovery. 

If you’re ready to create positive momentum and new, vibrant relationships, please reach out to see how I can support you. 

Or learn more about the Iconic Woman Series here.

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