Here’s my latest mantra: Love yourself better if you want to love others better. Let’s talk self-acceptance.
It’s time to talk about self-acceptance. Tell me if I’m right …
Part of the fear of accepting yourself is that, once you do, you’ll no longer need to improve yourself or grow anymore.
But here’s the truth: Self-acceptance does not mean we think we’re perfect or have nothing to improve upon.
On the contrary, it means we embrace our humanness – even our imperfections. We acknowledge the areas we need to improve, without going into negative self-talk or allowing self-hatred to become part of our narrative.
Instead of beating ourselves up, we extend grace to ourselves because, in fact, we are all imperfect.
You see, we all stumble at some point. We all have those parts of ourselves we wish we could change with a magic wand. We all face challenges and witness aspects of our personality we may not be proud of. But we can recognize that and still have compassion and love for ourselves.
We can hold space for both imperfection and self-acceptance at the same time.
You see, self-acceptance allows for us to speak from a place of humility, and it also allows us to have more empathy and compassion for others.
As we recognize our own imperfections, or the personality traits we would like to strengthen, we can also extend that grace to others, providing for more harmonious relationships. That’s how we can create win-win outcomes and a more heart-centered way of living.
Why Is Self-Acceptance So Important?
One of the beautiful things about self-acceptance is that it helps eliminate the need for external validation. It provides a space where we can self-affirm.
What we believe about ourselves is directly correlated to the quality of life we experience. If we believe we’re unworthy, unwanted, unloved, unskilled, unattractive, then we’re creating a narrative that produces the results to affirm it. We will show up in a position where we’re less than, simply by expecting ourselves to do so. We will become chronic people-pleasers, hoping others will like us for what we can do for them – rather than for who we are.
That is why self-acceptance is so important. The more we can whole-heartedly love and accept ourselves, the more agency we have to move forward.
It’s when we reject who we are that we become stuck. We continually revisit trauma loops that keep us in a perpetual cycle of self-loathing.
The key is to establish a foundation of self-acceptance.
3 Steps To Greater Self-Acceptance
1. Reflect honestly.
Be honest about the parts of yourself you are rejecting. Become clear on why that narrative exists.
What past experience is continuing to affect you today? Are there toxic environments that are reinforcing the lie that you’re not loved, worthy or capable?
Once you know the answers to those questions, you can begin to make adjustments. Find the right environment and relationships that will support you in loving who you are without the need for you to be perfect.
Begin with your mind to discover the narrative that’s preventing you from accepting yourself.
2. Take it to heart.
One you have clarity, the next step is to take that awareness to the heart. Allow your heart to speak what it knows is true about you.
You see, the gift of the heart is its voice. The voice of the heart is always compassionate. It alway speaks the truth. It’s loving and it speaks in simple and plain terms.
Unlike the voice of the heart, the voice of the mind is fast-paced, racing and confusing. It can be circular and unending. But the voice of the heart provides clarity.
Learn to listen to your heart if you want to find balance between the voice of the heart and the intellect of the mind. That’s the perfect place to acknowledge your struggles and accept yourself whole-heartedly.
3. Write it down.
Once you’ve tapped into the voice of your heart, I want you to write it all down. Then revisit it. And read it again and again until you know it by heart.
Remind yourself of these powerful, heartfelt and compassionate messages. Ask yourself powerful questions.
Who do I need to become in order to move past the negative self-talk?
What would open up for me if I were able to lovingly and whole-heartedly accept myself – without the need to change myself?
Ready To Take Action?
Self-acceptance isn’t an overnight success. And it’s not a journey I would want to take alone, especially when love, compassion and support is here for you.
I’ve been working on this practice for over 20 years, and I don’t have everything figured out yet. But I have learned quite a few tools, techniques and mindsets along the way.
I share all my best strategies for navigating life’s toughest moments inside of my membership community, Iconic Woman Series. You can even find a video course on this exact topic that includes everything you need for self-discovery and empowered action.
All you have to do is show up for the journey.